Monday, May 14, 2007

For Step-Moms: Happy Mother's Day!

My Mother's Day entry gets 2 posts. Lucky day.

I received many, many well wishes this year on my "first" Mother's Day. They were all very special and so very kind! I do not in anyway wish to appear ungrateful for any of them... but I do not consider this to be my first Mother's Day. Even though this was the first year I received a card from a child and not just my hubby and sister. Even though this year I got a cake. Even though this year people went out of their way to wish me a happy day.

My first Mother's Day was May 2004. Just a few months after I married my husband, on March 6th of that same year. On that day, I became a fully fledged step-mother. On that day a little 4 year old became "mine". Not legally, mind you, but in my heart, she was now "mine" too. Even though I share her with 3 other adults, even though she doesn't have one genetic connection to me, she is still mine. She is my one and only step-daughter and I am her one and only step-mother.

Step-mother's get the raw end of the deal. Most of us only get to "mother" our step-kids a few weeks a year or every other weekend. Most of us are not called "mom" by those kids. Most of us spend nights crying when we are hurt by the same little child we love. And the majority of us never get a card, a phone call, a gift or anything from that child on Mother's Day. They have a mother, you know. And the step-mom is is not "mom".

I know you know a step-mom somewhere in your life. So go put a note on the calendar to send her a special thank you for being there for her step-children. She may not be perfect at it, but what mother is? But the step-mom has a difficult role in life and it's not easy. It may not even be rewarding. But it's important and it's tough and most step-moms do it without a word of complaint.

To all of you step-mothers out there -- thank you for all you do. Even though no one else may know, I do. Thank you.

2 Thoughts From Others:

Jen said...

Amen sister - I think step moms (and step dads) get shafted. They work so hard, often with little or no recognition. I think it's oftentimes harder to be the stepparent than the "real" parent. I know how much Sarah has meant to you for the past several years (and now!) - and although you might not get the "Happy Mother's Day" from her (or anyone else) on Mother's Day, you still mean the world to her!

ErinOrtlund said...

Nice post! I'm glad I remembered to send my step-mother cards on Mother's Day while I had one.

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